Do you think your feelings of love and affection have grown numb and hostile? Do you feel your home sweet home has become living torture? Or has the behavior of your spouse become unbearable? If you find yourself nodding your head to these questions, then, unfortunately, your marriage has reached the point of toxicity.
With the high rate of divorces, people are dubious about the elements that constitute a strong marriage foundation. Issues such as midlife depression, financial hardships, and infidelity can put a huge question mark on even the best of the bonds. In addition, unhealthy practices in your marriage serve as the gateways to divorce.
However, none of the marriages reach the point of divorce instantly. Instead, a post-mortem of your relationship will telltale the bad habits practiced by one of the spouses or both. Such practices furtively deprive the marriage of its energy, sprightliness, and sparkle.
What makes a real difference between a strong relationship and a casual fling is some pivotal elements. While the nature of every relationship is different; however, there are a couple of signs that reveal marriage is heading to a dysfunctional state. Continue reading to discover these signs:
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1. Addiction issues
Unhealthy obsessions such as alcohol, drugs, and involvement in gambling can ruin even the best unions. Such practices can severely affect the brain, which, in turn, leads to more damaging behaviors. Therefore, if you are habitual of these habits – stop right away. Ask yourself who’s more crucial– your partner or the addiction.
Quite often, what separates a tough patch and the end of the marriage is the willingness to deal with the problem. If your partner has been consistently protesting about your behavior, seek professional help. Get yourself admitted to a rehab center if you wish to secure your marriage. These facilities aid in the recovery process and prepare a treatment plan that caters to the needs of the addicted person.
2. Failure to meet sexual needs
Intimacy brings two souls together, no denying that. However, if the couple has an inactive sex life, it will ultimately reach a ‘roommates’ mode. After the initial blissful months of marriage, you might get hit by the realities of life. Upbringing kids, career demands, and other responsibilities might leave you with little or no time to fulfill sexual desires. Neglecting the sexual needs of the partner can bring a void in married life, and your spouse might feel frustrated and annoyed.
Of course, you can’t sort out the heated arguments with sex. Those matters require serious talk. However, for minor disagreements and vexation, your hormones can work like magic. Set aside some time from the daily routine where you sit with your partner and bask in each other’s body’s heat.
3. Strong feelings of contempt
Either of the partners who express contempt towards the other most definitely put a nail to the coffin. That’s why contempt is the poison that tops the list of the factors that lead the marriage to a decisive stage. Some of the signs of contempt include using abusive language, swearing, calling disrespectful names, frequent eye-rolling, and giving the cold shoulder to what the partner has to say.
These feelings usually arise when a person gets peeved or bitter without any solid reason or by unrealistic expectations from the spouse. Unfortunately, it is a red flag if your better half hesitates to accept your achievements and good traits.
4. Breakdown in communication
The best thing you can do to make a person feel loved and valued is to listen intently. However, when you show unwillingness and disinterest during the conversation, this ignites feelings of devaluation. In addition, it leaves off the impression that you don’t care for your partner, resulting in poor communication and lack of intimacy.
Let your heart out and share your concerns. If you don’t, you are just preparing a recipe of animosity and fights, which will leave you bawling your eyes out later. So instead, let yourself divest your cell phone, maintain eye contact, and occasionally repeat what your significant other says to show you are in the conversation.
5. Being dishonest
Honesty is a lot more than answering the question, ‘where have you been last night?’. While it’s crucial to be aware of your partner’s whereabouts, it’s equally important, if not more, to know other aspects of life, too.
The urge to keep secrecy about financial spendings, internet connections, and substance abuse can cause holes in your marriage wall. Also, being silent about your shopping visit can spell severe repercussions down the road as you might get habitual of it. How would you feel if your spouse told you fabricated stories and white lies frequently? You’ll probably feel hurt. Therefore, ensure that the institution of your marriage is trustworthy. If you fail to own your mistakes, it will take much more audacity to discuss critical matters.
It is entirely normal to have occasional disagreements and conflicts. However, how you decide to tackle such situations can cut any ice. Self-assessment and admittance go a long way when it comes to protecting your marriage. Instead of apportioning blame, accept your destructive behaviors and work on them before things get worse. Inject attention and kindness to your bond. Be uninhibited during the conversation and voice out your concerns honestly. Also, discuss where you both stand in your relationship.
However, feel free to stop the conversation if it serves no purpose and gets antagonistic. Even if your marriage arrives at a tipping point, ensure to end it courteously. Consider a collaborative divorce process that allows both partners to end terms on a good note and grow emotionally healthy.